LAUGH OUT LOUD
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror, like the passengers on his bus. If you laughed at that joke, it is because three things happened in your brain in lightning-fast succession. First, you detected an incongruity:
You imagined my grandfather lying peacefully in bed, but then you realized he was actually driving a bus. Second, you resolved the incongruity: My grandfather was asleep at the wheel.
Third, the parahippocampal gyrus region of your brain helped you realize I wasn’t being serious, so you felt amusement. And all of that gave you a little bit of joy.
THE BARBERS
This joke is one that’s sure to resonate with introverts everywhere. Even back then, many people valued silence and their alone time!
Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: “In silence.”
Like the previous joke, this one is also taken from Philogelos. It was among several jokes tested out in front of a modern audience by comedian Jim Bowen. Surprisingly, this and a few others hold up today and are still pretty funny!
TEACHING AN OLD DONKEY NEW TRICKS
This odd joke centered around a person of questionable intelligence and his donkey reads a little bit like a joke for children.
Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said “I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.”
This joke, among many others, was found in Philogelos, which translates to Laughter-Lover, a text which is the first ever joke book ever compiled and made. It contains around 265 jokes, and although not all of them translate well in the modern day, some do hold a striking resemblance to newer jokes!
AUGUSTUS RESEMBLANCE -
This might only be the world’s eight oldest joke, but it’s certainly the oldest “your mom” joke ever told! Even ancients enjoyed this style of humor, it seems.
Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: “Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?” “No your Highness,” he replied, “but my father was.”
Unfortunately, we don’t know much about this joke’s origins either, but it certainly packs a bit of a rude punch. We hope that no sassy citizen truly ever did dare to say this to the Emperor!
RIDDLE OF MAN
Perhaps one of the most famous riddles of all time, and one that may be the most frequently quoted in pop culture, this joke is more of a brain buster.
Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age.
The riddle was performed as part of the play Oedipus Tyrannus, otherwise known as Oedipus Rex or Oedipus the King, which was written by ancient playwright Sophocles. You may know the play best for being the text that gave the Oedipus Complex its name. The play is considered one of the greatest of its time and to be a true masterpiece, even by great historical figureheads like Aristotle.
THE BLIND WIFE
While royalty has been the butt of early jokes, they can certainly dish out their own brand of humor, too.
A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, “I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye.” And she answered him: “Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?”
The joke was recovered from the letters of King Djehutymes, also known as King Tjaroy, and he had quite a reputation for telling jokes. His amusing personality and character are a well-documented part of history, in fact! Officially, these letters are compiled as the Late Rammesside Letters, published as Volume IX of “Bibliotheca Aegyptiaca”.
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